If only I could publish every little thing that came through our newspaper Web site. Such as this?
The following review was submitted for the site Gumbo Chinese Express.Title: THUG MAN GIVIN THAT 411
Rating: 1
Pros: NO PROS
Cons: ERTHINGDAM DIS PACE AINT THUG LIKE ME MAN I BE THUG TO THE RUG AND THE SPACE OUT THERE ABOVE THE BLUE SKY GET THAT MAN THIS PLACE GOT RATS AND SNITCHS TELLEN THE PO PO ON ME
Reviewer Name: thug man
Those dang snitchs.
These are the headlines and stories reports dream of. And there's a video. This year, Christmas will have come twice!
Beacon man fends off rabid fox with bread loaf
The Poughkeepsie Journal
CLICK HERE TO VIEW VIDEOBEACON – A Beacon man fended off a rabid fox with a loaf of sliced bread Wednesday, after the animal ran out from under his pick-up truck and attacked his leg.
Gary Kemp had just arrived back at his home in the Oak Meadow mobile home park, when he was greeted by the terminally ill intruder.
“The fox was hiding underneath the Bronco, and he came out and charged out at me, and started making this weeping noise as he was charging,” Kemp said.
The gray fox attacked his legs, and Kemp beat the fox with a loaf of bread until it ran away.
Kemp's home security system captured the attack on video tape.
While Kemp was showering, a neighbor was attacked and beat it with a black top rake and then had to run it over repeatedly with a Lincoln Continental until it died.
The fox was tested positive for rabies by the Dutchess County Department of Health.
In the words of my friend Jerm, "Rabies is scary." Damn right.
This is one marathon experiences I will never have...
Marathon record is set in Berlin
By Liz Robbins
New York Times
BERLIN, Sept. 30 — Cruising alone for the final seven miles on the Berlin city streets lined with damp, golden leaves Sunday morning, Haile Gebrselassie shattered the world record in the marathon by 29 seconds, securing a mark he has coveted since he was a teenager in Ethiopia.
The rain and wind had stopped by 9 a.m. after a soggy three days, and, along with a flat course and five pacesetters flanking him, the conditions were ideal for Gebrselassie’s record run of 2 hours 4 minutes 26 seconds for the 26.2 miles.
It was 29 seconds faster than Paul Tergat’s previous world record on this same course in 2003. To the 34-year-old Gebrselassie, this world record, his 23rd in distances ranging from two miles to 5,000 meters to the marathon, this record was the most satisfying.
"Without question,” he said, grinning, “because it is the king of distance."
I need to run another marathon...
This seems to be the year that disgraced (and should-be disgraced) evangelicals are being called home:
Tammy Faye Messner, 65, former evangelist, dies
The Associated Press
RALEIGH, N.C. — Tammy Faye Messner, who as Tammy Faye Bakker helped her husband, Jim, build a multimillion-dollar evangelism empire and then saw it collapse in disgrace, has died. She was 65.
Messner, who had battled colon cancer since 1996 that more recently spread to her lungs, died at her home Friday, said her booking agent, Joe Spotts. A family service was held Saturday in a private cemetery, where her ashes were interred, he said.
She had frequently spoken about her medical problems, saying she hoped to be an inspiration to others. "Don't let fear rule your life," she said. "Live one day at a time, and never be afraid." But she told well-wishers in a note on her Web site in May that the doctors had stopped trying to treat the cancer.
In an interview with CNN's Larry King two months later, an emaciated Messner — still using her trademark makeup — said, "I believe when I leave this earth, because I love the Lord, I'm going straight to heaven." Asked if she had any regrets, Messner said: "I don't think about it, Larry, because it's a waste of good brain space."
Of course, if you haven't seen "Through The Eyes of Tammy Faye", maybe her passing means little to you. But don't think she's just another hateful evangelist. Tammy Faye was a very loving individual and I hope she suffers no longer.
Perhaps there's a "Surreal After-Life" with which she can form prayer circles with and regale her cast mates with her endearing stories. She will be missed.
Well, leave it to me to wow everyone, but I produced just about the best story and video this week ever! Well, maybe that's giving me too much credit, but I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from my work.
So, anyways, my editor clued me in a couple of weeks ago in on a story at Mineral King, this valley in Sequoia National Park. Basically, one of the other reporters went up there and saw that people had wrapped chicken wire around their cars to protect the engines from these animals called marmots, which are basically large alpine squirrels. I had to get more info, so on Tuesday I drove up to the park with the camera and this is what I saw:
Mineral King marmots cause problems for cars
By Nick McClellan
Visalia Times-Delta
If you choose to hike or camp in Mineral King this summer, the animal most likely to cause damage — and leave you shaking your fist — is not a bear.
Large alpine squirrels known as marmots love to munch on engine wires and hoses. They also drink copious amounts of ethylene glycol, a chemical found in many kinds of automotive antifreeze.
... Mitchell Hauptman, a park ranger stationed at the Mineral King ranger station, said three vehicles have been towed this season because marmot damage rendered them inoperative. Other visitors got off easier, including one who left the following note at the ranger station: "Doesn't look serious, but it took a while to scare him out of the engine compartment."
... No one knows for sure why marmots find car parts and fluids so appealing, said Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks Wildlife Ecologist Harold Werner.
The fluids also don't seem to harm the marmots as they would housepets.
"They seem to become ethylene glycol junkies," Werner said.
... Visitors who fail to protect their vehicles from marmots may find themselves taking one or more home in the engine cavity, Hauptman said.
"I've heard stories of marmots making their way down to L.A.," he said. "But they're fine. People give us calls, 'We have one of your marmots.' "
His usual response?
"It's their marmot now," Hauptman said. "Marmots don't FedEx well."
My editor told me she liked the video and the story like three times today. I always get so excited when I do something right. Future stories for me include: following some guy who turns cooking oil into biofuel, filming a wild mixed martial arts match and snapping pictures of some tots competing in a sort of miniature Olympics.
But, before you see any of that, you have to see the marmot video! It's awesome. And I'm telling you, if you haven't crossed paths with a marmot, you haven't met the most interesting and mischievous creature this side of the Sierra.
I have been working on a story for the past month on Allensworth, a city established in 1908 entirely by African Americans. The county has approved the establishment of two dairies within two miles of the city, which has been abandoned and re-created as a state park. If you know anything about dairies, you should know this: They stick. If a dairy sets up less than a mile from the park, whatever visitors do come to the park may have a very unpleasant time. Many African Americans feel that the county's rubber stamp on the new dairies is just another attempt to wipe away a hallmark of Black History and they have lobbied quite successfully politicians in Sacramento that are passing a bill to establish a buffer zone around the park.
I've been to the park four times in the past month. The last time I went was on June 23, for their Juneteenth celebration. I had to abandon any plans I had to attend Gay Pride in San Francisco for it. Somehow, it didn't really matter to me. The excitement and life of the park was thrilling. As a journalist, it felt wonderful to be a part of something under normal circumstances I would observe as an outsider. Everyone was very gracious and kind to me and I was happy to see the park with so much life again.
Today I finished the second, larger video on the park. It seeks to explain, in the words of African Americans, why the park deserves to be protected by the state. I think it's very good and I thought I should share.
P.S.: I am the multimedia reporter now at the Visalia Times-Delta and Tulare Advance-Register and I produce a fair amount of videos. You can see them at www.VisaliaTimesDelta.com/Video.
Hold on, maybe I should make sure... What does TMZ.com say?
In The Zone: Paris prays for strength
Paris Hilton is turning to a higher power — no, not Lee Baca — to get through her prison ordeal. Heaven help us!
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ that while Paris' medical condition has stabilized, she is emotionally still extremely fragile and is holding on by a (100 count) thread. We're told she prays constantly in her cell, asking for strength.
According to sources, Paris says support from her family is the only thing that is sustaining her. That and the prison gruel.
God bless Paris!
I'm sorry to say my blog has been kaput for nearly a month now. I swear it only seemed like two weeks! I have been so busy with work and various other adventures. I've been to Santa Cruz, the coast and inside the den of cheetahs. (oh, you should check that out).
Anyways, I'll get to something soon. In the meantime, check this out:
It turns out Jerry Falwell, founder of the "moral majority," has died at the age of 73.
Jerry Falwell, Moral Majority Founder, Dies at 73
By Peter Applebome
New York Times
The Rev. Jerry Falwell, the fundamentalist preacher who founded the Moral Majority and brought the language and passions of religious conservatives into the hurly-burly of American politics, died yesterday in Lynchburg, Va. He was 73.
His death was announced by Liberty University, in Lynchburg, where Mr. Falwell, its founder, was chancellor. The university said the cause had not been determined, adding that he died in a hospital after being found unconscious in his university office yesterday morning.
Mr. Falwell went from a Baptist preacher in Lynchburg to a powerful force in electoral politics, at home in both the millennial world of fundamentalist Christianity and the earthly blood sport of the political arena.
As much as anyone, he helped create the religious right as a political force, defined the issues that would energize it for decades and cemented its ties to the Republican Party.
Am I sad that Jerry Falwell is dead and gone? Hell no. He was a hateful, narrow-minded man who empowered a generation of hateful, ignorant, like-minded bigots to rise up against innocent people they disdain and refuse to accept. Would you honor the life of a racist man if you were black and witnessed first-hand the effects of polarizing hate perpetuated by that one man?
I find it insulting to read certain red blogs that are playing "gotcha!" with other left-leaning sites for taking a shots at the holy man. If my prayers would be for anyone, it would be for the man's family and loved ones. They are the ones who deserve mercy, but not that hateful man, one who spoke these shocking words after one of our country's most tragic events:
I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.' ~ Jerry Falwell, September 11, 2001
In the coming years, that man will be remembered more for his hateful, polarizing rhetoric against gays and lesbians than for his upholding of the faithful tenets of Jesus Christ. Anyone who hesitates in this fact will grow to regret it in the coming years and decades. This man is a dinosaur and the world is better now that he has passed.
When a classified ad appeared in the Fresno Bee last month looking for the owner of a lost goldfish, David Letterman couldn't help but bite. But the Fresno Bee bit off a little more than it could chew:
'Reunion' turns out to be just one big fish tale
By Cyndee Fontana
Fresno Bee
Did you hear the one about the fat, blind goldfish rescued off a lawn and reunited with his owner?
Turns out it was more than just a fish story. It was a hoax.
Wednesday -- when The Bee published an article about Charley the goldfish's reunion with his owner -- some readers called to blow holes in the story.
Charley is real. So are Lori Igasan and Bernadette Planting, the two women featured in the article. But they're not strangers to each other, as they told reporter Will Albritton, and good old Charley never was lost or discovered on Igasan's lawn.
"Journalists are trained to be skeptical, but at some point we have to take people at their word," said Betsy Lumbye, executive editor and senior vice president of The Bee. "We're disappointed that these ladies weren't honest, and disappointed that we didn't catch the hoax."
Both women said they meant no harm with their yarn, which started with a classified ad in The Bee and achieved minor notoriety on "Late Show with David Letterman."
To Igasan and Planting, friends for several years, it was simply a joke.
"It was not our intention to hurt anybody," said Igasan, who launched the hoax with an ad that read: "Found: Large, obese goldfish. Approx 11yrs old, blind as a bat."
Igasan said the ad was part joke, part genuine effort to unload a fish she no longer wanted. She said she received about 150 telephone calls.
I know it's kind of hard when the sources are working against you, but you've got to admit the story sounded a little fishy from the get go. This particular story got my attention mostly because they did a video story on it and that's interesting to me because I'm our newspaper's new multimedia reporter. The story was so-so, and now it's a complete fraud.
I think more should have been done but whatever. It was fun while it lasted.
I'm kind of in one of those funks at the moment but I feel it may soon translate into some more entries. Hooray! Next week should be better!
I'm sorry, I thought of this headline, and since it's getting no facetime in the newspaper, I have to put it here.
From caskets to Easter baskets
Staff reports
Dozens of children gathered in front of Miller's Funeral Home in Tulare on Saturday to celebrate Easter a week early.
The event featured face-painting, a bounce house, a coloring contest, games, food and an Easter egg hunt for two age groups.
hapel supervisor Mary Mendonca said this is the first Easter event the funeral home has held.
Usually, the funeral home holds a Christmas event."We just wanted to see how it works," Mendonca said. "A lot of people say 'Why have an Easter event at a funeral home?' We are just giving back to the community and the families that we have served here in Tulare. That's all it is."
I also came up with "Funeral home brings new life to Easter," but my editor shot me down. Lame!
Expect photo-induced marathon post soon! I've been lazy, blech!
It's great that The Associated Press has started to slug the fun stories with the word ODD in all caps. It makes finding gems like this so easy:
3 injured by cats that invade house in Nebraska
The Associated Press
NORTH PLATTE, Neb. — Two stray cats got into a house and attacked three people inside, then were euthanized and checked for rabies, authorities said.
The cats entered Melissa Breva's house through an open front door on Monday, and attacked two women visitors and a boy, authorities said.
"I thought I had seen it all, but I have never seen anything like this," Chief of Police Martin Gutschenritter said.
Animal control officer John Pettit responded to a call for help, Gutschenritter said.
One woman was scratched and bitten on her legs; the other woman was bitten on her right calf, authorities said.
After talking to them, Pettit went to his truck for snares, then heard screaming from inside the house."When he ran back, he saw a young male with blood over his face," Gutschenritter said. "He was bitten on his forehead, nose, left ear and right cheek."
After some first aid from Pettit, the three were taken to Great Plains Regional Medical Center.
When investigator John Stadler arrived and opened the bedroom door, "he saw a gray and white cat baring its teeth in attack mode," Gutschenritter said. "He shut the bedroom door and returned to his car for a dart gun."
Both cats were shot, tranquilized and taken to the animal shelter, where they were euthanized.
The bodies were sent to Lincoln for rabies checks, Gutschenritter said.
Authorities want to find out who owned the cats. Under a city ordinance, cats may run free if they don't become nuisances.
I don't know about you, but I think if a cat came at me in "attack mode," I think it would be time to whip out the Kung fu, John Inman style. Waaaa!
More on my pending marathon soon. My leg has been bothering me this week, trying to take it easy. In a week I'll be in Atlanta!
I'm so pissed that I didn't hear about this sooner:
John Inman, Television Actor, Dies at 71
Agence France-PresseLONDON, March 8 — John Inman, the British actor who became famous for his role as an eccentric shop assistant in the BBC comedy “Are You Being Served?”, died here Thursday. He was 71.
His death was announced by his manager, Phil Dale. He had been suffering from hepatitis A.
He starred as Mr. Humphries in the popular comedy, which was broadcast from 1972 to 1985. At its height it attracted an audience of 22 million viewers in Britain and was then sold around the world.
His camp catchphrase “I’m free!” helped him win an award for Funniest Man on Television presented by the British weekly TV Times in 1976. In recent years, Inman regularly appeared in pantomime productions.
He is survived by his partner, Ron Lynch.
If you haven't seen the britcom "Are You Being Served?" then you are really missing something. Mr. Humphries was my favorite character (well, I was partial to Mrs. Slocombe). He was so flamboyant and gay, but he always knew how to play it cool. It was never 100% obvious he was gay, he was a fabulous actor. He's my britcom hero.
I'm sad, don't know what else to say. It's best to let Inman lead us out:
It's funny, when the thought occurred to me to move to California (which happened shortly after the state of Georgia passed a blatant, inexcusable measure designed to denigrate gays and lesbians as second-class citizens forever), I figured I would be free from all of that in the bluest of the blue states. On the whole, that is very true. California is a great state and I live confident that even with a Republican governor I am respected and honored as a citizen. But even the blue states tend to have a red streak.
Visalia is a pretty conservative, family place. It's a gorgeous, wonderful place to live, but there are also many Bible-thumping freakazoids that like to throw the good book around into people's faces. Letters often appear in our paper that lash out at the "homosexual deviants," and I place them, because I think it's very healthy for people to speak their minds (even though I don't necessarily agree with them). And, thankfully, there are people who respond to such nonsense. One such response in its entirety:
Homophobia is rampant in this community
Jim Mancini, VisaliaWhy does the Times-Delta seem compelled to print so many letters from Visalia's Christian, homophobic community?
I've lost count of the number of letters from Christian dogmatists who usually quote a passage in the bible that "clearly" condemns homosexuality. The latest, from Sam Lukes, quotes one of their favorite passages, (Romans 1:26:27). He says, "God is quite clear."
Even as a high school student who studied the Bible (Roman Catholics' version) for two years every day in religion class, I realized that it is a collection of writings by people of ancient times who were new and zealous converts. Furthermore, someone had to edit these writings and choose which ones to include. So today we have many versions that claim to be the true interpretation.
With all due respect to those who interpret the Bible literally, there are many of us who do not. The social context and language usage at the time that the stories in the Bible were collected, edited and published were much different than today. These writers were from different cultures quite limited in their scientific knowledge. Add to this the various language translations and the Bible is far from "quite clear."
Many modern biblical scholars interpret that passage in Romans quite differently than Mr. Lukes. He might try to open his mind just a little and research other points of view. All the Bible thumpers out there who like to quote verses that justify their homosexual bigotry should also mention that the Bible condones genocide, mass murder and slavery.
God bless you.
Anyways, we have this wonderful "StoryChat" feature on our Web site that makes it very easy for those indoctrinated nutjob drones to instantly respond to a reasoned argument. You can only imagine what things were said, but I thought this response deserved the spotlight (but there are several worth mentioning):
If you don't like the religious justification against homosexuality, how about this.A lesson in basic plumbing explains it for me. The human body has "in" holes and "out" holes. When it comes to traditional love making, men do not have an "in" hole. Women do! Two men together or two women together have to break the laws of basic plumbing to attempt to make love. Using "out" holes as "in" holes is not a good idea. Seems simple to me.
How about from natures perspective. Natures goal for animals(including humans) is to promote survival and create offspring. man + man = no offspring... woman + woman = no offspring. Again... seems pretty simple!
— ForTheKIDS
You know, he's got a point. I mean, nothing ever comes out of a vagina, ever! Only in. A special trap door must open when it's time for babies or "that time of the month."
And it's a good thing God-fearing Christians NEVER use that other "hole" they must be speaking of (the anus), because they have so many other holes to choose from. And I guess if the vagina has that coveted "in-hole status," the mouth must also be dubbed an "in hole" since things more frequently go in than out. And of course, no one has been impeached or sent to fiery damnation for sticking their dick in that, now have they.
Freaking psychos...
The saga that was Anna Nicole Simpson's life doesn't seem to have been snuffed like a candle in the wind. Despite rising to that glorious centerfold spread in the sky, various lovers, family members and diabetic lawyers have positioned themselves in an all out brawl over who's going to get her body.
It's pathetic:
Emotional judge rules on Smith's body
CNN
MIAMI, Florida — Custody of the body of former centerfold Anna Nicole Smith was awarded today to the guardian for her 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn, by Broward Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin.
Seidlin directed the guardian — Richard Milstein — to consult with Howard K. Stern, Smith's partner and lawyer at the time of her death; Larry Birkhead, Smith's former boyfriend; and Virgie Arthur, Smith's mother, about burial plans.
Smith died February 8 in a Florida hotel, but the cause is still unknown.
Shortly after the ruling, it appeared all the parties had agreed to a burial in the Bahamas.
Thursday's ruling capped several days of unusual courtroom proceedings that touched on child custody and paternity, though the issue at hand was limited to the disposition of Smith's body. Some called the proceedings a circus.
Before ruling, Seidlin told the parties in the case, "I feel for you, I absolutely feel for you."
"I've reviewed absolutely everything. I've suffered with this," Seidlin said.
He addressed Smith's mother several times as "mama" and told her and the others he was trying to reach an equitable decision.
I think it's pretty sad that these grown adults can't come to a consensus on the wishes of the departed. I think it's pretty clear she cared very deeply for her son, Daniel Smith, and wanted to be buried in the Bahamas with him. I don't know why this idiot judge let her estranged mother spend more than 2 seconds in that courtroom. It's perfectly clear she's only after a slice of the silicone...err, money.
I truly hope the judgment means Smith's body will be buried next to her son. I'm sure that's what she would have wanted.
But on a lighter note, we really do have more to look forward to from Anna Nicole Smith. Even in death, she never ceases to amaze.
Meanwhile I have a huge itch to go watch the Anna Nicole Smith Show. Anna! Anna! Anna! Anna! Anna Nicole!
Explanation for the insanely early post (early that is for the West Coast): I just finished a great run. I didn't run less than a 9:30 mile, which is really good for me at 4 a.m. in the morning. I jumped out of bed this morning saying to myself, "I have to have a good run today. I'm gonna tear it up." And I did. Success!
And, of course, I saw this, fitting for Valentine's Day:
The Greatest Generation Learns About Great Safe Sex
Corey Kilgannon
New York Times
The sex educators had come to a Queens housing complex to discuss condoms and foreplay and sexually transmitted diseases.
Those assembled were told that their demographic was showing increases in sexual activity and an accompanying rise in promiscuity, homosexuality and H.I.V. infection.
As the teacher, Monique Binford, delved into an unexpurgated discussion covering issues from vaginal dryness to Viagra, one student’s cane clattered to the floor, another student adjusted his hearing aid and a third fidgeted in her orthopedic shoes. By the time Ms. Binford got around to describing a safe sexual act involving Saran Wrap, a woman shouted, “Enough, already!” and the room erupted in laughter.
The sex educators had news for this class of 40 people in their 70s and 80s, just in time for Valentine’s Day: Older folks are friskier than ever, and it’s never too late to learn about safe sex.
Sexually speaking, said Norm Sherman, who organized the presentation, “It ain’t over till it’s over.”
This story made me smile. There's nothing I like better than hearing older people get some. There's just something so sweet about that. Just because you're 60 and single doesn't mean you shouldn't get laid.
For the past year, I've been making my way through over 200 episodes of The Golden Girls. In my Netflixing rule book, I pick one series from which I rent one season after the other until I've proceeded through the whole series. The series I watched before The Golden Girls was Sex and the City, and it seemed only appropriate I follow a great show with its obvious antecedent.
I'm winding down season five now and I'm about to tear through six and seven (the final season). It's been a great show, if repetitive as sitcoms usually are. I really felt almost bored in the first three seasons. I thought I'd die if I heard another St. Olaf story from Rose, but by season four and five, you can really tell that the actresses had grown into their characters and were able to bring them to a really fresh and funny place.
I like Dorothy the best, but you have to give it up for Blanche. I watched an episode with commentary this past weekend (the one where Sophia and Dorothy dress up as Sonny and Cher) and actress Rue McClanahan reflected on her character's overwhelming gay following: "I asked a gay young man, 'Why do you like Blanche so much.' And he said, 'Don't you see, it's because we want to be Blanche.' "
Oh, to have as many men as Blanche. I only wish I got that much play when I'm 35...he he he
A hallowed (imitation) piece of film history has been stolen!
Maltese Falcon stolen from San Francisco restaurant
By Michael Kahn
Reuters
SAN FRANCISCO – Where's Sam Spade when you need him?
Thieves have stolen a copy of the bird statue at the heart of “The Maltese Falcon” from the San Francisco restaurant used as a setting for the 1941 film classic starring Humphrey Bogart as the rough-and-tumble private detective.
The small, black figure was swiped over the weekend along with 20 vintage books, including copies of the 1930 Dashiell Hammett novel on which the film is based.
John Konstin, whose restaurant John's Grill bills itself as the “Home of the Maltese Falcon,” said the thief broke into the case displaying the statue over the weekend. Konstin is offering a $25,000 reward for the replica's return.
I'm sorry, but if you saw the movie, they know it's a fake don't they? I mean, it was said the jewel-encrusted falcon was a decoy — a trick to throw off the men who sought the valuable real falcon. The story is even more funny because this particular (knockoff) falcon is a decoy of a decoy.
This restaurant, John's Grill, is supposed to be the hang-out of Sam Spade in the novel The Maltese Falcon. Whoever stole the bird should return it. There's gotta be some Sam Spade curse on it or something, and that's not the stuff dreams are made of...
It's not every day that, while working on tomorrow's front page, you have to scrap the whole thing to accommodate the death of a president. But tonight was such a night:
Gerald R. Ford, 38th U.S. President, Dies
By James M. Naughton and Adam Clymer
New York Times
Former President Gerald R. Ford, who was thrust into the presidency in 1974 in the wake of the Watergate scandal but who lost his own bid for election after pardoning President Richard M. Nixon, has died, according to a statement issued late last night by his wife, Betty Ford.
He was 93, making him the longest living former president, surpassing Ronald Reagan, who died in 2004, by just over a month.
The statement did not give a cause, place or time of death, but Mr. Ford, the 38th president, had been in and out of the hospital since January 2006 when he suffered pneumonia, most recently in October at the Eisenhower Medical Center in Rancho Mirage, Calif., for medical tests. He returned to his home in Rancho Mirage after five days of hospitalization.
... Mr. Ford, who was the only person to lead the country without having been elected as president or vice president, occupied the White House for just 896 days — starting from a hastily arranged ceremony on Aug. 9, 1974, and ending after his defeat by Jimmy Carter in the 1976 election. But they were pivotal days of national introspection, involving America’s first definitive failure in a war and the first resignation of a president.
After a decade of division over Vietnam and two years of trauma over the Watergate scandals, Jerry Ford, as he called himself, radiated a soothing familiarity. He might have been the nice guy down the street suddenly put in charge of the nation, and if he seemed a bit predictable, he was also safe, reliable and reassuring. He placed no intolerable intellectual or psychological burdens on a weary land, and he lived out a modest philosophy. "The harder you work, the luckier you are," he said once in summarizing his career. "I worked like hell."
Of course, I learned in the newsroom tonight that the former president was horrible at walking. Just like the current President Bush will go down in history for his various "Bushisms," Ford had a stride that people will never forget. Remember that time he fell down the steps of Air Force One?
It's always sad when president dies. We actually had a discussion today over how much front page space should be devoted to former President Ford. Is he a strip lede? Is he a centerpiece? Is he a photo sell or tease to an inside story? Well, the centerpiece won out.
I personally think that the former President Homer Simpson story clearly passes the dead president test: If he's dead, 1A centerpiece lede. William Henry Harrison, the ninth president who died in office from pneumonia after only 30 days because he insisted on delivering his inauguration address in the rain, is probably the only exception. He deserves a downpage 2-inch story that contains.
He might have not been as mounumental as Nixon. He wasn't as charismatic as Carter. He didn't stand up as a Republican to Reagan. Bush 41 could beat him at a keg stand and Bush 43 could at least walk straight. And he probably wasn't as hung as Clinton. But we'll still remember Ford, the man who fell ass-backwards into the most powerful position in the world.
On the heels of my entry discussing the revelation that soy makes men gay, I am not surprised to see this coming:
Kids with high IQs grow up to be vegetarians
HealthDay
As a child's IQ rises, his taste for meat in adulthood declines, a new study suggests.
British researchers have found that children's IQ predicts their likelihood of becoming vegetarians as young adults -- lowering their risk for cardiovascular disease in the process. The finding could explain the link between smarts and better health, the investigators say.
"Brighter people tend to have healthier dietary habits," concluded lead author Catharine Gale, a senior research fellow at the MRC Epidemiology Resource Centre of the University of Southampton and Southampton General Hospital.
Recent studies suggest that vegetarianism may be associated with lower cholesterol, reduced risk of obesity and heart disease. This might explain why children with high IQs tend to have a lower risk of heart disease in later life.
It's really funny how the story caught a lot of buzz in the newsroom. I am, shocker, the only vegetarian in the building to speak of (as far as I know). There are plenty of ex-vegetarians, and they are always asking me what's going to push me back to the dark side. I have no idea, honestly, I think when my boyfriend cooks me a big turkey for Thanksgiving or someone sends me a Chick-fil-A chicken biscuit express mail that I'll cave.
Being a vegetarian is positively fabulous. For one, it's always fun to take the moral high ground. I personally do it for nutritional reasons, but I have not shuttered at the idea of wagging my finger when it's funny or convenient. I mean, I cringed running in Yokohl Valley passing all the beef cattle. It's sad to think of all the delicious hamburgers that came from those doe-eyed fatlings.
Next Friday, for our newspaper's holiday party, I am bringing in plenty of fake chicken for everyone. It's going to be delicious, I'll be sure to convert someone or at least get some pompous brat taste the nugget and complain all party on how it tasted like tree bark or something. Oh well, those carnivores are too stupid to understand anyways.
Well, this clinches it. They've got my number with this one:
A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals
There's a slow poison out there that's severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it's a "health food," one of our most popular. ...
The dangerous food I'm speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they're all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore. ...
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because "I can't remember a time when I wasn't homosexual." No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can't remember a time when excess estrogen wasn't influencing them.
I always wondered why I insisted on the tofu and fake chicken. It seems I need the stuff to sustain the change, huh. Wow, and to think that I only need to give up soy to get into women. I don't know if I can give up a delicious baked tofu sandwich from Watson's Veggie Garden. I mean, the one I had today was positively blissful.
I have produced my second video story for the Visalia Times-Delta! This video covered the story of people waiting in line for the release of PlayStation 3 for over 24 hours. It was difficult to make the story very interesting, but I tried my best, and I think it came out alright.
... oh, and in case you didn't know, I'm the budding multimedia reporter for the paper, at least when the copy desk gives me some time to do it. I think it's a pretty neat thing to do, and it's what I'd like to continue to do in the future. I'm thinking of going to graduate school in the next year to pursue just such an opportunity. In case you'd like to see the first video story I did for the paper, you can view that here. I think it's much better than my second one.
On another note, the hysteria of the PlayStation 3 reminds me of when I walked confidently into numerous retailers with wads of cash looking for my coveted Nintendo 64. Sadly, I didn't get my prize until after Christmas, but I understand the feeling of asking sales clerk after sales clerk, "Do you have Nintendo 64?"
Luckily, I didn't experience anything like this:
Violence Mars PlayStation 3 Launch
The Associated PressHARTFORD — Two armed thugs tried to rob a line of people waiting for the new PlayStation 3 game system to go on sale early Friday and shot one man who refused to give up his money, authorities said.
In Sullivan, Ind., a man was in critical condition after emergency surgery for a stab wound after he and a friend tried to rob two men of consoles they waited 36 hours in line to buy, police said.
Nationwide, short supplies of the PS3 and strong demand led to long lines of buyers, some waiting for days outside stores. Once the doors opened Friday, they pushed and shoved their way to the shelves in several cities to get at the limited supply. Two people were arrested in Fresno, Calif., after a crowd trampled people in a parking lot.
It was about 3 a.m. when the two gunmen in Putnam, a town of about 9,000 residents in northeast Connecticut, confronted 15 to 20 people standing outside a Wal-Mart store and demanded money, said State Police Lt. J. Paul Vance.
''One of the patrons resisted. That patron was shot,'' Vance said.
Vance said the gunmen fled after shooting Michael Penkala, 21, of Webster, Mass., in the chest and shoulder. Penkala was in stable condition at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester, Mass., with injuries not believed to be life-threatening, Vance said.
I have to admit, it's kind of clever. Robbing a line full of pimply teenagers with their sweaty wads of cash waiting to buy a game console that is not worth the money. I feel real bad for the kid who got shot. I can just see the tears in his eyes as he refused to surrender his cash or his dream of owning a PlayStation 3 so he could play virtual football instead of taking a deep breath of fresh air outside and throwing a real football around.
No, seriously, it's sad he got shot, but I just think if these kids were more patient and actually thought about the circumstances — giving up the money or having the thieves pry the PlayStation 3 from your cold, dead hands — they might realize there's somethings more important than flashy game consoles.
OK, that's enough for now.
I know there's an election going on and everything, and I have to go to work like right now to pop out a newspaper, but did anyone read the story about Britney Spears filing for divorce from Kevin Federline?!
Thunder in paradise! Sadness...It's may not be true, but I think it's really funny. Anyways, more later...possibly.
Well, the gay-sex preacher story just keeps getting better and better:
Church tries to cope after minister’s dismissal
By Kirk Johnson
New York TimesCOLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Long before the first tissue boxes were passed down the aisles for mopping tears, and before the first guitar chords were struck to begin the worship, many of the thousands of people who gathered on Sunday morning at the New Life Church here knew that it would be a service unlike any other in their lives. ...
“We’re living this in real time,” said Rob Brendle, an associate pastor, as he bustled through the 14,000-member evangelical church making last-minute preparations for the 9 a.m. service.
A male prostitute in Denver said in a radio interview on Wednesday that Mr. Haggard had been a monthly customer and a buyer of methamphetamines. Mr. Haggard issued denials, but by Saturday the brief, explosive standoff was over. The board members had heard enough — mostly from Mr. Haggard himself, they said at Sunday’s service — to justify his removal.
What was left for Sunday was to begin sorting the tangled skein of spiritual and political implications, betrayal, anguish, anger and sadness that the episode left behind in the church and across the evangelical world. Speakers urged the church’s members to find a way forward without recrimination or bitterness; a letter from Mr. Haggard was read from the 8,000-seat auditorium’s center stage.
Wow. I can't believe he wasn't in church on Sunday. I mean, seriously, the one day he probably should have gone.
These are the moments you want to savor. You wish time would stop so you could live them over and over again:
Evangelical leader says he bought drugs
By John Holusha and Neela Banerjee
New York Times
The Rev. Ted Haggard, the former president of the National Association of Evangelicals and one of the nation’s most influential Christian leaders, admitted today that he had purchased the illegal drug methamphetamine from a gay escort in Denver, but denied that he ever had sex with the man.
Mr. Haggart resigned as president of the evangelical association and stepped aside as senior pastor of the New Life mega-church in Colorado Springs, Colo., on Thursday after Michael Forest Jones, a self-described former gay prostitute, accused him of having a sexual affair for three years and using the drug, commonly known as crystal meth, during those encounters.
Though the story is throughly lurid and very damning for evangelicals, I was very pessimistic about its truthfulness. The man who is leveling the allegations is a male prostitute and we are merely four days from an election. And his explanation as to why he's coming forward now is not convincing:
"People may look at me and think what I've done is immoral, but I think I had to do the moral thing in my mind and that is expose someone who is preaching one thing and doing the opposite behind everybody's back," said Jones.
OK, I get the whole "doing the moral thing," but he cashed the checks, took the cash for years! I guess it's only immoral in an election year (But even if that were true, it seems like it would have been much more immoral in 2004, considering what was at stake). I'm sure we'll take what we can get, though.
Despite all the questions, this whole situation is freaking awesome. You can't tell me this guy just took a massage from the prostitute and tossed the meth. He was so having sex with the guy, and he's one of the most important evangelicals in the entire country. He talks the the President and his advisers every Monday! This is huge. This is better than Christmas! I can't wait to see what happens.
I know all the most popular blogs are posting it, but I just had to do it. It's from my soon-to-be-favorite documentary, Jesus Camp, about crazed evangelicals. You have to watch the trailer.
I'm still "unpacking" from my trip to France. This week is kind of hectic. I'll be sure to post my entries with photos, whatever. I'm taking my time, so sue me. This week I'm also retreating from one half of my apartment. This weekend my friend Natalie is moving in. It should make home life much more interesting (Malibu every night!)
But I thought this was funny:
Yarn thief gets year in jail
By Charles Yoo
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A woman prosecutors called a serial yarn thief will spend a year in jail after pleading guilty to shoplifting Monday in DeKalb County.
Audrey Yandel, a 70-year-old Atlanta grandmother and a retired nurse, has been convicted 12 times in the past two decades, mostly for stealing yarn, according to DeKalb Deputy Chief Assistant District Attorney John Melvin.
In the DeKalb cases, Yandel was caught stealing yarn at a Decatur shop in January 2005 and knitting needles at a Dunwoody business in May 2006.
Her attorney, Charles Pekor, said she's been suffering from "compulsive behavior disorder" and has been seeking psychiatric help.
After serving a year in jail, Yandel will be placed on probation for six years. She's now forbidden from entering any specialty store that sells yarn.
Where do you send a 70-year-old serial yarn thief? And, I'm sorry, but is this lady really a menace to society? I hope they stick her in a nice padded prison — strictly polyester, no cotton.
So I'm down to my last few hours in Visalia before my trip. I am not getting any sleep tonight. I mean, it's already Saturday in France right now anyways, I might as well get used to it, right?
I so much more excited about the trip now than I was a few hours ago. I guess I've been focusing so much on the arduous trip to and from France that I haven't given much thought to the actual week I will spend there. It is still wholly a mystery to me. I only just an hour ago planned my return hotel accomodations, transportation, train and car ride home. If I can make it to that international flight in Philadelphia tomorrow night in one piece, I will be very happy.
I had a bit of a scare this week, though. Nicole has kept up with me pretty well while I've been planning my trip. We had a communication breakdown last weekend, however. I was nervously pacing before heading out to cover the Miracle League last Saturday when I decided to send Nicole a detailed e-mail concerning the trip. I checked my e-mail that night, Sunday and Monday — no word. I asked her to call me a few weeks before the trip, but I received no call whatsoever from her! Had she forgotten? Surely not. Was she trying to blow me off for some unknown reason? I know Nicole, and she wouldn't do that...but you never know. This is how disasters happen!
Well, it turns out that moving to Orleans has thrown her world topsy-turvy, so she didn't have constant access to the Internet like I do. She did get back to me Wednesday morning, thankfully, and now I am in the know.
As I wait to disembark and put a close to my final state-side entry of my trip, I want to share one humorous thing I came across tonight. In light of recent foiled terrorist plots in Britain, I can't bring my water bottle and toothpaste on the plane with me. But what about sleeping-pill gel caps? I went to the Transportation Security Administration Web site and luckily 4 ounces of unprescribed medication is allowed on the flight to carry on. But that's not all that's allowed...
Seems like Uncle Sam permits 4 ounces of personal lubricant on the plane too. I'm not sure a cadre of terrorists could bring a nation to its knees with a small bottle of KY Jelly (but I know a few guys that wouldn't mind bending over). It's good to know anyone looking to squeeze into the mile-high club will be able to do so comfortably without it being too much of a pain in the ass.
OK, enough vulgarity, that's it! Leave comments and/or well wishes! I will update on my trip when I can (assuming they have Internet in France). I hear they aren't that far behind the times, so updates are very likely — so tune in!
Au revoir!
It's been a few weeks, and our slithering friend is still at large. The community remains on a heightened alert — the black mamba may strike at any moment.
Residents nervous about snake
By David Castellon
Staff writer
Dixie Chapman doesn't feel all that comfortable walking out of her south Visalia home.
Outside, she looks warily at bushes and rocks and even glances up at the trees to see if a venomous snake might be there ready to strike. It has gotten so bad that the normally meticulous lawn in front of her home sits thick with overgrown grass, and fear of a snake has made her and her husband reluctant of get out and tend to their gardening.
"We're just still being cautious," she said, and so are several residents in the 3800 block of South Woodland Drive and the surrounding blocks. They have been on edge for the past three weeks, ever since they learned a neighbor's dog may have been bitten by a venomous snake.
The paper is really digging at the obvious question on everyone's mind: Was there ever a snake at all?
That can be traced back to a series of events that began a couple of weeks before the dog died.One of the owners of the dog, an Australian shepherd and Queensland mix named Casey, said that some time in early August she was in the backyard of her Woodland Street home when some of her dogs became agitated about something behind a storage shed, and one let out a big yelp.
The woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said she caught a quick glance of something either in one of her dogs' mouths, or it had clamped its mouth on the dog's snout.
"I saw the head," something reptilian with slick scales and dark eyes and possibly a couple of inches of a reptile body, she said, adding that whatever it was fell in thick grass and disappeared.
"I can't be sure it was a lizard," the woman said, adding that she's about 70 percent sure it was some sort of snake. ...
As best as she could remember, the woman said, what she saw most looked like a brown snake or a black mamba, with the mamba — one of the world's deadliest snakes — looking the most like what she remembered.
What happened next isn't clear. Residents of the neighborhoods reported hearing stories that a neighbor had lost a pet black mamba, somebody had seen a snake slithering up a tree and other sightings.
Ok, there are so many problems with this whole "black mamba" theory. I've woken up in a terror, convinced that black widow spiders were crawling on my window shades and walls, but that doesn't mean they were actually there. All it means is I have an overactive imagination and I think this spineless, anonymous woman does as well. What does 70% add up to anyways in this Valley town anyways?
And — come on — snake slithering up trees? I've seen black mambas do a lot (slaughter the Crazy 88s, offer Lucy Lui a free hair cut, remove whatever that thing was in Daryl Hannah's eye), but I don't think they can slither up trees. Crawl out of the grave, maybe...
I imagine in another two weeks David will have to update this story again, and the SPCA will continue to perform this stupid charade, failing to admit that they were just wrong about the stupid snake.
Meanwhile, on a grassy knoll, in the Sierra foothills perhaps, a loosed black mamba snake is laughing at all the stupid humans.
I've been pretty busy this last week. On the behest of the newspaper, I took upon myself my second Flash project: "Miracle on the diamond": The Miracle League of Visalia. It was my first reporting assignment for the newspaper. Though the emphasis for me was the audio and Flash editing, the most intimidating part of the assignment was actually going on location and getting the story. I have to say, despite my reservations, it went really well.
The Miracle League of Visalia is a baseball league for special-needs kids that plays twice a year, 16 weeks a year. The organizers of the program were inspired by the first Miracle League established in Conyers, Ga., which they learned about from a segment on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. I watched the video in preparation for my interview, and it was pretty inspiring.
These kids spend their whole lives sequestered from the rest of the world, denied living a normal childhood just because they are different. The Miracle League makes it possible for special-needs kids to play baseball on their own teams.
I was so inspired by the men and women who make something like this possible. The man responsible was so humble, he asked me specifically that his actions not be played prominently in the presentation and that the focus remain on these amazing athletes. I tried my very best to make that possible and I believe I produced a fine presentation. It is a vast improvement on the Mt. Whitney presentation, as I was able to include the navigation buttons. I hope you enjoy!
As far as the Web site, I have been working on it on and off this week. The blog is completely prepared and all I must do is prepare the auxiliary pages that will include my portfolio and past Web sites. It looks very cool, I can't wait to publish it. You can expect it on Thursday night, hopefully.
And in less than a week, I will be in France! I will post something about that later. Oh, and running is going fabulous, though I have to run a day early this week. Friday is going to be insanely busy...and don't get me started about Saturday. I will spend about 10 hours on the ground the whole day!
Since last week, the city of Visalia has been terrorized by vicious, man-eating reptiles! Well, it's not quite that bad, but after getting my hair cut the other day and speaking to some of my fellow city-dwellers, the snake and lizard that have been on the loose might as well have been man-eating:
Lizard compounds neighbors' reptile fears
By David Castellon
Staff writerResidents in a south Visalia neighborhood who have spent the past week nervously looking out for a venomous snake that may be slithering through homes and gardens have a new reptile to worry about.
On Thursday, city officials announced that they had confirmed that a two-foot monitor lizard had escaped from its cage in the same neighborhood where last week it was reported that a dog might have been bitten by a venomous snake.
"The owners of the reptile confirmed that the lizard had been missing a couple of weeks ago and had been captured and returned to its cage, but has now been missing again for several days," said Leslie Caviglia, Visalia's assistant city manager, in a statement.
It goes on to say that the lizard, seen by a police officer, had a "snake-like head and a long, narrowing tail" and that city officials have been told that the lizard's bite could contain bacteria that can cause septic shock and death if untreated.
While none of this foolishness is happening in my neighborhood, I'm just a few blocks away, but I'm not scared. I mean, the lizard and the snake would have to cross a lot of streets to even get close to me, and I'm sure they would be road kill if they even tried.
I tell you what, though, this snake is not something you want to mess with:
[Brendon Mitchell, owner of the Venomous Snake Research Center in Tehachapi], was in Visalia earlier this week helping city Animal Control officers search for the snake."They asked if we needed any help in finding the snake, and they said they were experts in doing that, and they said they would help if we let them," said Jerry Herrmann, executive director of the Valley Oak Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which provides animal control services for Visalia. "I said, 'Y'all come. We need all the help we can get.' "
But Mitchell said the search was unsuccessful.
"We didn't come across much of anything. We came across some tracks that could have been a snake, but we weren't sure," because somebody had stepped on them, he said.
Meanwhile, rumors have spread fast and furious about the snake, including that it is a black mamba, one of the world's deadliest snakes.
I think it's positively thrilling that a black mamba would be on the loose in Visalia. Of course we've all seen Kill Bill and know just how deadly a black mamba can be.
Elle Driver: "In Africa, the saying goes 'In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba is death sure.' Hence its handle, 'Death Incarnate.'" Pretty cool, huh?
I don't know where they got the idea that a black mamba would be on the loose, but our newspaper has been pretty hush-hush on any references to Beatrix Kiddo, the deadly assasin from the film with the nickname "black mamba," as she is considered the deadliest woman in the world.
It's one of my favorite movies, but considering the venom of an actual black mamba can kill you in a matter of hours (or minutes, if bitten on the face), I don't think I'm going to be reaching into any bushes around Caldwell Avenue and County Center Street. You know, just to be safe.
But no worries, at least one of the reptiles has been found!
Lizard caught; snake still loosed
By Jed Chernabaeff
Staff writerTension in a south Visalia neighborhood was relieved temporarily Friday afternoon when a 2-foot monitor lizard reported missing just a day before was captured by a gardener.
But nerves are still on edge in the neighborhood, as a venomous snake, who animal control officials say may be linked to the killing of a dog after biting it weeks ago, could still be on the loose.
Visalia gardener Ken Peterson said the Savannah monitor lizard, named Steve-O, was crawling on sun-baked pavement while he was driving east in the 2700 block of James Street, near where it was reported to have escaped.
Ken Peterson said a neighborhood resident first spotted the lizard and flagged Peterson down."The neighbor spotted the lizard and called 911," Peterson said. "I drove up, and the lizard ran toward the curb toward a tube."
The tube, a drain pipe along the base of a 2-foot wooden fence between two homes, served as the device to trap the lizard, Peterson said.
"I stuck two sticks on each side of the pipe and trapped it," Peterson said. "Then we waited for police and animal control."
I would have probably left the lizard alone. I mean, he's going to find the black mamba eventually and then the two would have it out, and the victor would become legendary nightmare reptile of southwest Visalia.
That, or they should loose some mongoose to look out for the snake. I'm sure Rikki-Tikki-Tavi would down Beatrix in no time!
It's been a while since I've had any "good news," so I thought I'd offer up something different for a little change of pace. I'm proud to say this comes from our very own Visalia Times-Delta.
Siblings admit to burying mother
By David Castellon
Visalia Times-DeltaAn autopsy has yet to verify whether the body of a woman found last week buried behind a Springville home is 91-year-old Acevia Crafts, but court records show that her children have told
