I'm still "unpacking" from my trip to France. This week is kind of hectic. I'll be sure to post my entries with photos, whatever. I'm taking my time, so sue me. This week I'm also retreating from one half of my apartment. This weekend my friend Natalie is moving in. It should make home life much more interesting (Malibu every night!)

But I thought this was funny:

Yarn thief gets year in jail
By Charles Yoo
Atlanta Journal-Constitution

A woman prosecutors called a serial yarn thief will spend a year in jail after pleading guilty to shoplifting Monday in DeKalb County.

Audrey Yandel, a 70-year-old Atlanta grandmother and a retired nurse, has been convicted 12 times in the past two decades, mostly for stealing yarn, according to DeKalb Deputy Chief Assistant District Attorney John Melvin.

In the DeKalb cases, Yandel was caught stealing yarn at a Decatur shop in January 2005 and knitting needles at a Dunwoody business in May 2006.

Her attorney, Charles Pekor, said she's been suffering from "compulsive behavior disorder" and has been seeking psychiatric help.

After serving a year in jail, Yandel will be placed on probation for six years. She's now forbidden from entering any specialty store that sells yarn.

Where do you send a 70-year-old serial yarn thief? And, I'm sorry, but is this lady really a menace to society? I hope they stick her in a nice padded prison — strictly polyester, no cotton.

Apologies on not posting like any photos from France. I mean, I've only even done one entry of the four I've actually written about it. It took like 36 hours just to get back to California so give me a few days to put something together. I promise it will be substantive and fabulous.

Now I must sleep...

Bon voyage! I am on the train from the Orleans train station, Les Aubrais Orléans, and headed to la Gare d'Austerlitz...I think. It's hard to tell, of course, but I'm sure that's where I'm going. I've just left Nicole and it was very sad to depart. I had a fabulous time being with my friend and seeing just a glimmer of her life in France. I know that if Nicole was in America, I would be in constant contact, and I'm glad that I was able to at least see her in France since I cannot see her often in America.

The past few days have been pretty incredible. I knew that I would regret not taking the oportunity to explore Paris so I was sure not to neglect seizing upon that this Thursday. Originally, the intent of all this was for Nicole to be out of classes and for the two of us to spend as much time possible exploring France or just cavorting around Angers. Her sudden move to Orléans changed that so my vacation became a more subdued, leisurly habitation of Orléans accented by Nicole's companionship and wonderful cooking.

I'm glad things worked out this way. My vacation to Georgia several months ago was so rushed, I had almost no time to relax (with the exception of the one night I got to stay at the Hotel Mary-Kate). I'm glad I got to spend time in Orléans exploring and taking it easy. Since Nicole was in class on Thursday for most of the day and I didn't want to have to tag along (sitting through French Administrative Law is pretty damn boring, especially if you don't know French), so I took the train to Paris.

I was scared at first. It was the first time I had ever traveled by myself in a foreign city. I'm so glad I seized the opportunity because I had a wonderful time. I enjoyed myself most shopping by the Arc de Triomphe. I got a Louis Vutton bag for Melinda as I promised and was able to replace my camera's memory card. I got some fabulous photos walking through Paris, by the Louvre and on the way to the Eiffel Tower.

Standing beneath the Eiffel tower, I was of course tempted to make the ascent. It was sort of a spiritual calling — I remember the first time I topped the Eiffel tower when I last visited Paris about six years ago (pictured above). I felt so excited and awed by the experience. I couldn't pass it up this time around so I spent the 11 Euros for the timeless thrill.

Afterward, as I had used up all of my Paris time, I had to scoot back to Austerlitz and head back to Orléans just in time to miss dinner. It was worth it though. I'm glad I went. Had I listened to my inhibitions, I probably would have stayed in Orléans, too fearful of making the solo trip. It was a great thing for me and by the end of the day, when ever a silly Parisian came to talk to me in French, I didn't even sweat saying, "Oh, I don't speak French." In fact, I probably looked more Parisian than ever. Well, maybe...

Long flight ahead, I'll write again about the trip after I've arrived in San Francisco. Au revoir!

Bonjour from France! This is actually my second entry since my vacation has started, but since Nicole practically lives in the dark ages, without Internet, this is the first time I will actually be able to post something to my blog.

Well, I'm alive and well. My time in France so far has been very restful and pleasant. I arrived in Paris early Sunday and made my way to Orleans to meet up with Nicole. Orleans is a fabulous city and I am very happy to know that such a small town can still be very vibrant and interesting (unlike certain Valley cities I know).

Right now, Nicole is plugging away in some boring French class and I'm in the university library on the Internet. Ah, precious Internet...you have no idea how annoying it has been trying to pick through world events with my limited understanding of French while watching the evening news. This morning, for example, I figured the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, had addressed the United Nations, but I had no idea what he said. They even dubbed ol' Dubya in French and I couldn't overhear what he was saying in plain English. Also, The screen kept scrolling this text "Thai PM declares state of emergency" and "Tanks surround compound of Thai PM," but the newscaster would never elaborate on the story. How frustrating...

I've been kicking around the idea of going to Paris tomorrow by myself, but I still am not sure I'm ready to take the plunge. I think it would be good for me and would give Nicole and Alain a break from babysitting me (though it is nice to have the flat to myself for a nice nap -- this is my vacation after all! The past two mornings I have been up to run with Nicole, and boy is she fast! The first day it was like a 30-minute sprint, I could hardly keep up! Today I could tell she slowed down for me...I was really hoping to school her too. I guess I still have a lot of training to do.

As for the rest of the week, Friday I will probably go shopping with Nicole. I have been so impressed with the beautiful French people and how wonderfully they dress. I think the era of the T-shirt has ended for me, I really need to learn to dress with more style. Hopefully Nicole can help me out.

I should also note that I have really enjoyed the French food Nicole and Alain have treated me to. Every day, for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Nicole has prepared exciting, inventive and delicious meals. Every day at noon, it is a tradition for the French to have a hearty lunch. From Nicole's flat in Orleans, you can hear the cathedral bell ring at noon every day and watch the school children scurry home for this very important meal.

Unlike American meals, French meals traditionally come in courses. At first, I thought Alain and Nicole were throwing a bunch of food at me because they thought I was hungry. At the end of the meal I finally realized it was all part of the tradition. Most meals start of with a sort of appetizer. Today, Nicole and I had steamed zucchini and French bread. For the entree, we had pasta with tomato sauce and cheese -- delicious. And for dessert, Nicole had some cheese and a nectarine and I enjoyed an apple. Every meal has been like this and the three of us usually spend an hour together talking and enjoying the meal.

Well, apologies that I have no pictures yet. Sort of a technical problem I explained earlier but will post later. I will be sure to posthumously color up this entry, but for now this is what you've got. I will try to post again later this week. Thanks for the well wishes, I will see you all soon!

Greetings from France. I'm not certain when this will reach the world wide web, but I am writing it anyways. It's Monday night now at 10:56. I have been in France for almost two days now, and it's fabulous!

I am not taking the tourist route this time around. Staying with Nicole in Orléans has been a great experience. Seeing the people of France go about their normal, day-to-day lives is very interesting. It's nice to see how a whole different world behaves. Also, I must admit, French people are so attractive and dress very nicely. I told this to Alain, Nicole's boyfriend this morning when we were preparing to pick her up from the University...I'm not sure he got the compliment. I guess high fashion is just the minimum.

We went to a large cathedral today — requisite of any trip to France it seems. It was very beautiful (made me a little proud to at least have some tacit understanding of a higher power unlike some atheist French people I know). I said a prayer, lit and candle and awed over the exquisite surroundings. A kind old Frenchman approached us and shared some of the history of the Cathedral. Apparently, when the structure was being built, Joan of Arc used to pray at the site when it still was an old Roman Christian chapel. Joan of Arc apparently liberated England's siege of Orléans in 9 days. She still has a strong presence in Orléans.

I think tomorrow will be more low key than today was. I'm sure Nicole has many more classes to attend. She's in law school of course! We are going running early in the morning and I'm aching for a good jaunt. Any excuse to see some more sexy French men...

So I'm down to my last few hours in Visalia before my trip. I am not getting any sleep tonight. I mean, it's already Saturday in France right now anyways, I might as well get used to it, right?

I so much more excited about the trip now than I was a few hours ago. I guess I've been focusing so much on the arduous trip to and from France that I haven't given much thought to the actual week I will spend there. It is still wholly a mystery to me. I only just an hour ago planned my return hotel accomodations, transportation, train and car ride home. If I can make it to that international flight in Philadelphia tomorrow night in one piece, I will be very happy.

I had a bit of a scare this week, though. Nicole has kept up with me pretty well while I've been planning my trip. We had a communication breakdown last weekend, however. I was nervously pacing before heading out to cover the Miracle League last Saturday when I decided to send Nicole a detailed e-mail concerning the trip. I checked my e-mail that night, Sunday and Monday — no word. I asked her to call me a few weeks before the trip, but I received no call whatsoever from her! Had she forgotten? Surely not. Was she trying to blow me off for some unknown reason? I know Nicole, and she wouldn't do that...but you never know. This is how disasters happen!

Well, it turns out that moving to Orleans has thrown her world topsy-turvy, so she didn't have constant access to the Internet like I do. She did get back to me Wednesday morning, thankfully, and now I am in the know.

As I wait to disembark and put a close to my final state-side entry of my trip, I want to share one humorous thing I came across tonight. In light of recent foiled terrorist plots in Britain, I can't bring my water bottle and toothpaste on the plane with me. But what about sleeping-pill gel caps? I went to the Transportation Security Administration Web site and luckily 4 ounces of unprescribed medication is allowed on the flight to carry on. But that's not all that's allowed...

Seems like Uncle Sam permits 4 ounces of personal lubricant on the plane too. I'm not sure a cadre of terrorists could bring a nation to its knees with a small bottle of KY Jelly (but I know a few guys that wouldn't mind bending over). It's good to know anyone looking to squeeze into the mile-high club will be able to do so comfortably without it being too much of a pain in the ass.

OK, enough vulgarity, that's it! Leave comments and/or well wishes! I will update on my trip when I can (assuming they have Internet in France). I hear they aren't that far behind the times, so updates are very likely — so tune in!

Au revoir!

It's been a few weeks, and our slithering friend is still at large. The community remains on a heightened alert — the black mamba may strike at any moment.

Residents nervous about snake
By David Castellon
Staff writer

Dixie Chapman doesn't feel all that comfortable walking out of her south Visalia home.

Outside, she looks warily at bushes and rocks and even glances up at the trees to see if a venomous snake might be there ready to strike. It has gotten so bad that the normally meticulous lawn in front of her home sits thick with overgrown grass, and fear of a snake has made her and her husband reluctant of get out and tend to their gardening.

"We're just still being cautious," she said, and so are several residents in the 3800 block of South Woodland Drive and the surrounding blocks. They have been on edge for the past three weeks, ever since they learned a neighbor's dog may have been bitten by a venomous snake.

The paper is really digging at the obvious question on everyone's mind: Was there ever a snake at all?

That can be traced back to a series of events that began a couple of weeks before the dog died.

One of the owners of the dog, an Australian shepherd and Queensland mix named Casey, said that some time in early August she was in the backyard of her Woodland Street home when some of her dogs became agitated about something behind a storage shed, and one let out a big yelp.

The woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said she caught a quick glance of something either in one of her dogs' mouths, or it had clamped its mouth on the dog's snout.

"I saw the head," something reptilian with slick scales and dark eyes and possibly a couple of inches of a reptile body, she said, adding that whatever it was fell in thick grass and disappeared.

"I can't be sure it was a lizard," the woman said, adding that she's about 70 percent sure it was some sort of snake. ...

As best as she could remember, the woman said, what she saw most looked like a brown snake or a black mamba, with the mamba — one of the world's deadliest snakes — looking the most like what she remembered.

What happened next isn't clear. Residents of the neighborhoods reported hearing stories that a neighbor had lost a pet black mamba, somebody had seen a snake slithering up a tree and other sightings.

Ok, there are so many problems with this whole "black mamba" theory. I've woken up in a terror, convinced that black widow spiders were crawling on my window shades and walls, but that doesn't mean they were actually there. All it means is I have an overactive imagination and I think this spineless, anonymous woman does as well. What does 70% add up to anyways in this Valley town anyways?

And — come on — snake slithering up trees? I've seen black mambas do a lot (slaughter the Crazy 88s, offer Lucy Lui a free hair cut, remove whatever that thing was in Daryl Hannah's eye), but I don't think they can slither up trees. Crawl out of the grave, maybe...

I imagine in another two weeks David will have to update this story again, and the SPCA will continue to perform this stupid charade, failing to admit that they were just wrong about the stupid snake.

Meanwhile, on a grassy knoll, in the Sierra foothills perhaps, a loosed black mamba snake is laughing at all the stupid humans.

Welcome to my new Web site! Well, sort of. Despite what you may see, obviously the URL remains http://endlessone.com/blog. I could go in and change it, you know...but I've been busy! I mean, in a few hours I'm starting my vacation to France, so you're going to have to put up with this for now...

When the Web page is done, you can expect to see links to my portfolio, my old Web sites and an e-mail address you may send sweet nothings to. For now, this will be sufficient. Looks nifty, right?

I've been pretty busy this last week. On the behest of the newspaper, I took upon myself my second Flash project: "Miracle on the diamond": The Miracle League of Visalia. It was my first reporting assignment for the newspaper. Though the emphasis for me was the audio and Flash editing, the most intimidating part of the assignment was actually going on location and getting the story. I have to say, despite my reservations, it went really well.

The Miracle League of Visalia is a baseball league for special-needs kids that plays twice a year, 16 weeks a year. The organizers of the program were inspired by the first Miracle League established in Conyers, Ga., which they learned about from a segment on HBO's Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel. I watched the video in preparation for my interview, and it was pretty inspiring.

These kids spend their whole lives sequestered from the rest of the world, denied living a normal childhood just because they are different. The Miracle League makes it possible for special-needs kids to play baseball on their own teams.

I was so inspired by the men and women who make something like this possible. The man responsible was so humble, he asked me specifically that his actions not be played prominently in the presentation and that the focus remain on these amazing athletes. I tried my very best to make that possible and I believe I produced a fine presentation. It is a vast improvement on the Mt. Whitney presentation, as I was able to include the navigation buttons. I hope you enjoy!

As far as the Web site, I have been working on it on and off this week. The blog is completely prepared and all I must do is prepare the auxiliary pages that will include my portfolio and past Web sites. It looks very cool, I can't wait to publish it. You can expect it on Thursday night, hopefully.

And in less than a week, I will be in France! I will post something about that later. Oh, and running is going fabulous, though I have to run a day early this week. Friday is going to be insanely busy...and don't get me started about Saturday. I will spend about 10 hours on the ground the whole day!

I know, it's so unlike me to be self-aggrandizing, right? I have been meaning to get to it all summer, but it has been over a year since I've had a bone fide Web site. Granted, this little place came about because I wanted to have a blog again, but it's so insignificant. I am capable of so much more.

Well, I'm happy to say that this morning I finally got off my toushie and put something together that has gone surprisingly smoothly. I'm so excited about it, I think I will likely have it ready before I take off to Paris for a week (which is coming up in just less than two weeks from now!)

The site will consist of mostly this blog. Past Web sites I've done have been pretty personal, and though I will link to those sites, I want to continue in the direction this site is going in. I think the content is so much better than what I used to churn out.

There will also be links to my online portfolio of work and information on hiring me to build a Web page of your very own. Stay tuned! Hopefully I won't be so crazy busy with running and packing that I will have something together very soon.

Since last week, the city of Visalia has been terrorized by vicious, man-eating reptiles! Well, it's not quite that bad, but after getting my hair cut the other day and speaking to some of my fellow city-dwellers, the snake and lizard that have been on the loose might as well have been man-eating:

Lizard compounds neighbors' reptile fears
By David Castellon
Staff writer

Residents in a south Visalia neighborhood who have spent the past week nervously looking out for a venomous snake that may be slithering through homes and gardens have a new reptile to worry about.

On Thursday, city officials announced that they had confirmed that a two-foot monitor lizard had escaped from its cage in the same neighborhood where last week it was reported that a dog might have been bitten by a venomous snake.

"The owners of the reptile confirmed that the lizard had been missing a couple of weeks ago and had been captured and returned to its cage, but has now been missing again for several days," said Leslie Caviglia, Visalia's assistant city manager, in a statement.

It goes on to say that the lizard, seen by a police officer, had a "snake-like head and a long, narrowing tail" and that city officials have been told that the lizard's bite could contain bacteria that can cause septic shock and death if untreated.

While none of this foolishness is happening in my neighborhood, I'm just a few blocks away, but I'm not scared. I mean, the lizard and the snake would have to cross a lot of streets to even get close to me, and I'm sure they would be road kill if they even tried.

I tell you what, though, this snake is not something you want to mess with:

[Brendon Mitchell, owner of the Venomous Snake Research Center in Tehachapi], was in Visalia earlier this week helping city Animal Control officers search for the snake.

"They asked if we needed any help in finding the snake, and they said they were experts in doing that, and they said they would help if we let them," said Jerry Herrmann, executive director of the Valley Oak Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, which provides animal control services for Visalia. "I said, 'Y'all come. We need all the help we can get.' "

But Mitchell said the search was unsuccessful.

"We didn't come across much of anything. We came across some tracks that could have been a snake, but we weren't sure," because somebody had stepped on them, he said.

Meanwhile, rumors have spread fast and furious about the snake, including that it is a black mamba, one of the world's deadliest snakes.

I think it's positively thrilling that a black mamba would be on the loose in Visalia. Of course we've all seen Kill Bill and know just how deadly a black mamba can be.

Elle Driver: "In Africa, the saying goes 'In the bush, an elephant can kill you, a leopard can kill you, and a black mamba can kill you. But only with the mamba is death sure.' Hence its handle, 'Death Incarnate.'" Pretty cool, huh?

I don't know where they got the idea that a black mamba would be on the loose, but our newspaper has been pretty hush-hush on any references to Beatrix Kiddo, the deadly assasin from the film with the nickname "black mamba," as she is considered the deadliest woman in the world.

It's one of my favorite movies, but considering the venom of an actual black mamba can kill you in a matter of hours (or minutes, if bitten on the face), I don't think I'm going to be reaching into any bushes around Caldwell Avenue and County Center Street. You know, just to be safe.

But no worries, at least one of the reptiles has been found!

Lizard caught; snake still loosed
By Jed Chernabaeff
Staff writer

Tension in a south Visalia neighborhood was relieved temporarily Friday afternoon when a 2-foot monitor lizard reported missing just a day before was captured by a gardener.

But nerves are still on edge in the neighborhood, as a venomous snake, who animal control officials say may be linked to the killing of a dog after biting it weeks ago, could still be on the loose.

Visalia gardener Ken Peterson said the Savannah monitor lizard, named Steve-O, was crawling on sun-baked pavement while he was driving east in the 2700 block of James Street, near where it was reported to have escaped.
Ken Peterson said a neighborhood resident first spotted the lizard and flagged Peterson down.

"The neighbor spotted the lizard and called 911," Peterson said. "I drove up, and the lizard ran toward the curb toward a tube."

The tube, a drain pipe along the base of a 2-foot wooden fence between two homes, served as the device to trap the lizard, Peterson said.

"I stuck two sticks on each side of the pipe and trapped it," Peterson said. "Then we waited for police and animal control."

I would have probably left the lizard alone. I mean, he's going to find the black mamba eventually and then the two would have it out, and the victor would become legendary nightmare reptile of southwest Visalia.

That, or they should loose some mongoose to look out for the snake. I'm sure Rikki-Tikki-Tavi would down Beatrix in no time!